I cannot play tennis without a net and a court – Part II

Narrated till now…

Pramod started getting problems while driving after he experienced a nasty turbulence during a flight journey. He was referred to a psychiatrist by his doctor.  The psychiatrist discusses with him in detail and asks him to meet her after three days…

Narration continues…

“Coming from office?” Dr. Maya asked.

“Yes doctor. That’s why I am in formal attire” he replied.

She again started looking at the reports and there was silence for almost five minutes.

“Everything is OK with me doctor?” he questioned.

She looked at him and smiled. She said “Have you observed my table today? “

“You have arranged things very well”

“Of course I had to. You were coming to meet me” she laughed.

“Did you sleep well during the last couple of days?”

“I think so. I was sleeping better and woke up on time”

“To tell you the truth I had written vitamin tablets. They have no control over your sleep. It is you who slept better. It was your mind which conditioned you to sleep better because you were under the impression that the tablet was to aid you in sleeping” she said.

“I have analyzed the case and feel that there is nothing seriously wrong anywhere. You do not need any medical intervention. This has got to do with your mindset issues”

Pramod looked amused and said “How can it be so simple doctor? I feel confused while driving up on a bridge and feel like getting out of the car each and every time. You are saying that it is simple mindset issue?”

She smiled again and said “Let me explain to you.

The problem is that you feel strange while driving on a bridge and feel like coming out of the car and you say this started happening after that nasty turbulence. Isn’t it?”

“Yes”

“The uneasiness is only a manifestation of something else that is happening. It has got to do with your mind. Even though you feel you cannot drive you continue and reach your destination because you cannot come out as you are in traffic.

Let us go point by point and start discussing about your disturbed sleep. Believe me whenever you get up in the middle of night and find it difficult to go back to sleep again, you are under stress. Your day time stress shows in the night. You start remembering the problems you face and though you know you cannot solve them in the middle of the night, you keep pondering over them.

Next interesting point is the Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). IBS is a lifestyle disease and of late is common in middle aged professionals. Untimely intake of food, intake of junk food, stress and late night sleep will induce IBS. Though we can control it by medication, the best solution would be returning to a healthy and normal lifestyle.”

Pramod raised his finger indicating that he had a point to make.

“Yes please ask” she said.

He continued “I agree with you that lifestyle induces stress and IBS but I have been having these things for the past two to three years. Why suddenly I have problems now? Though a frequent flyer why I am unable to cope up after that particular turbulence?”

She smiled again and said “This is the big problem with you professionals. I take many training sessions for company executives and professional. I see the same pattern of behavior. You do not listen completely to what the other person is saying”

“I listened to you and so I am asking you” he said.

“You have listened to me to question but have not listened to me to understand. Please carefully listen to what I say and start questioning once I complete. You will miss the rhythm and this will break the flow and hence your understanding.”

Pramod smiled and with folded hands said “OK doctor please continue. I shall listen carefully”

She laughed and continued “You were not comfortable with the shabby arrangement of things on my table. You could have neglected it but you could not. You are used to arranging things in an orderly manner and you get turned off if things are not in proper place. Am I right?”

“Perfect and correct” he replied.

She continued “It is not wrong to expect things to be in proper place or arranging things properly. In fact it is good. As they say cleanliness and orderliness are next to Godliness. The issue comes when you become obsessed with it. Yesterday I spoke to Susan and asked her about your obsession with keeping things in order. She told me that you are very fussy about it. This is OCPD”

She paused and drank water from the glass.

Pramod asked “What is OCPD?”

She replied “It is Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. The person will be concerned about orderliness, perfectionism and gives excessive attention to details.

 I asked you about playing tennis in an open ground and you gave the answer I expected. You are predictable.

You mentioned that you cannot play tennis without a net and a court. If you think about it you will realize that your focus is not on the game but on the boundaries that are needed for the game.

This is reflection of your approach to life. I had a detailed  discussion about this with Susan and learnt many things about you. You have a habit of arranging every activity in a properly manner. You decide on time deadlines and very efficiently split the activity into smaller parts and plan to execute the same. It is good as long as you do not get obsessed with the plan you have made. Many times it so happens that things do not go in the manner you plan and the delayed time schedules turn you off. This adds up to stress.

Each person can take external pressures to the extent he can afford. The moment it exceeds, it manifests as stress. This has happened in your case.

A third person may feel that linking your issues with driving to the nasty turbulence, to various habits you have and the way you think  is not logical. Believe me things work that way. I handle many cases of mental stress and cases wherein people are driven to extreme steps. At first we do not get the correct answer for their behavior but after probing into related and unrelated issues we come to a logical conclusion.

In this case also the chronology of events and your personality made me conclude that you can help yourself better”

She looked at Pramod and said “You have anything to say?”

He replied “while some handle more pressure easily, why I am not able to do so?”

She replied “Mr.Kulkarni each one is unique and different.

Let us talk of how to provide a solution to this. These issues can be treated by medication and meditation. I would like you to think of the second option.

I strongly recommend you to join a good meditation course and practice breathing exercises.”

“How will this help me?”

“Good question” she said and continued “By meditating you give time to yourself. You spend those moments in solitary silence and start looking inward.

Breathing exercises help in pumping more oxygen into the body. The cells in the body get more quantity of oxygen and this helps.

Also as every emotion of ours is linked to pattern of breathing, having a control over breathing will help.”

“How is it so?” he said.

She continued “When you are angry or upset, you will be breathing faster and in shorter spans. When you are relaxed and happy your breathing will be slow and you tend to take longer breaths. By practicing pranayama and other breathing exercises you can have a control over your emotions.”

Pramod looked happy and there was a glow on his face. He realized that he himself was the cause of all the problems he was facing and the solution should come from within.

Dr. Maya continued “Mr. Kulkarni it is only a beginning. Just by joining a meditation course you will not be able to overcome all the hurdles you face. You will definitely be in the right direction.  I am prescribing some tablets and on taking them in the night after dinner you will have a relaxed sleep. There is no other medicine required for the time being. Please join a good meditation course like ‘Towards better living’ and take control of your life. Believe me these are not vitamin tablets. You will definitely get good sleep” saying so she laughed.

Pramod too had a hearty laugh and after shaking hands with Dr. Maya stepped out of the room.