Part 2: They loved, got married & lived happily ever after, until…

Narrated till now

Pramod and Susan fell in love with one another during their engineering study days and got married against all odds. In their early forties, they encountered mid life crisis. Misunderstandings and dwindling trust made their life more complicated.

Narration continues

“I cannot believe it. Pramod can never do such a thing” my wife reacted when I told her about Susan’s story.

“But it is reality. We do not know what is in store for all of us in this mid life. Most of us are becoming naughty beyond forty” I said.

My wife stared at me and asked “Anything naughty from your side?”

I laughed and said “I am struggling managing one woman. I do not want double trouble”.

It was seven in the evening and I reached the 5 star hotel where the party was being held. I walked on the lush green lawn searching for him.

“Pramod” I called looking at him.

“Hi” he replied and both of us settled on chairs around a round table on the lawn. The ambience was very good with musicians playing a soulful number sitting in one corner. I could see many page3 people settling down on the chairs around.

“How is life?” I asked Pramod.

“Cool dude. It is going on well”

I knew Pramod very well and without wasting time came to the point.

“Who is she?” I asked.

“What? About whom are you talking?”

“Do not put up a show. I know everything” I said.

Pramod blushed. He looked at me and said “There is nothing like what you are thinking”

“I have not said anything. How can you say so?”

He continued “Her name is Ipsita. I met her few months ago. She is a very good friend of mine and there is nothing beyond that”

I looked at him. He could not make eye to eye contact with me.

I knew that he had a crush on her. I asked him about her and he told me few details.

After few minutes he got up and said “There she is” and walked away.

I was alone and had no option but to wait for them. He came back with a beautiful looking lady.

I got up from my chair and wished her. She sat down on the chair and said “Ipsita, Ipsita Chakraborthy”

I told her my name.

She looked stunningly beautiful and was draped in a designer wear pink sari. She had a rose fixed in her hair a little above her left ear.

Her hair was well made and few strands of hair were deliberately left loose in the front on either side of her face. In total she looked nothing less than a Bollywood heroine.

We started talking and I found her quiet knowledgeable in her domain. She had done her statistics post graduation and was working for a multinational company.

I looked at Pramod. He looked very pleased. I knew that he liked her company.

Ipsita told me “Pramod was telling me about you and your good friend Srinibas”

“Srinibas, who is it?” I said.

Pramod came closer to me and whispered in my ears “She meant Srinivas”

I understood and said “Yes Ms. Chakraborthy, me and Srinivas are very good friends of Pramod”

She replied “Please call me Ipsita”

Pramod got a call on his mobile. It was from the MD of the company he worked for. He got up and walked away not to get disturbed.

I looked at Ipsita and she smiled at me. I asked her “How did you meet Pramod?”

She replied “It was a chance encounter. We met in a plane and later kept meeting each other and today we are very good friends”

We spoke to one another for the next ten minutes and I could gather good information about her. She was from a very well to do family and her husband worked for a reputed IT multinational company and was in the US since the past two months and would join her in India after one month. She was very intelligent in her talk and I could understand that she had no intention of flirting around or she had a crush on our guy. It was a sort of unilateral decision from his side.

I was a bit relieved to know this as I was concerned about Susan.

In the meanwhile at Susan’s house

Subha Deshpande was sitting on the chair in the kitchen drinking the tea Susan had given her.

Subha said “Susie I tell you, we should not believe these men. They are all like this. In fact our Pramod is a good man but what to do time will not be the same always.

 Remember during your engineering days he first fell in love with Vandana Joshi and later when she rejected him, he started looking at you”

Susan did not like the way Subha had put it. She said “No Subha it was not the case. Vandana case was of infatuation. In fact he truly loved me and there was no one else in his life”

Subha could not be stopped. She continued “Susie you are very good woman. But men are not so trustworthy. I should tell you one very old secret. He had a crush on me also during our primary school days in Dharwad”

Susan could not hold her laugh back. She was sure that Pramod would not have fallen for Subha going by her looks and behavior.

Subha continued “I saw Pramod with her couple of days ago. She is very beautiful”

Susan was cutting vegetables on the tray. She suddenly cut her finger. She said “Ouch” and washed the cut on the finger with water.

Subha was immediate to remark “You can bear the pain of this cut. But what about Pramod’s flirting?”

Susan said “Who was with Pramod?”

Subha replied “That beautiful lady”

Subha ensured that she filled Susan’s mind with silly details about Pramod and Ipsita. Susan

 was a more balanced woman but sometimes she would also yield to silly reports about Pramod.

Back at the party

Pramod came back and said “My boss is a pain. He calls me at odd hours and keeps pestering me about sales figures”

We had dinner and after about five more minutes, Ipsita told us that she had to leave.

“Should I drop you home?” Pramod asked.

“No thanks” She replied “I have come in my car and I shall drive back to my house”

Pramod escorted her up to her car and saw her off.

“So” I said “Where is this story leading to”

“Which story” Pramod asked.

I replied “Boss, Susan is aware of your crush on Ipsita”

I could see the reaction from Pramod. It was like a bolt from the blue for him.

He became nervous and said “What does she know? I am not in love with Ipsita. She is just my friend”

I continued “My dear friend. It is not your greatness that you are not flirting around. It is the composure and good intent of Ipsita that is keeping things in control. Imagine if she had flirted, you would have proceeded further or not?”.

  He remained silent not knowing what to answer.

I kept my hand on his shoulder and explained to him how important it was to be with Susan in this time of their life.

I spoke to him for about twenty minutes and explained to him my understanding of Ipsita. She was a very balanced and matured lady who knew her priorities very well. I told him to put a stop to his liking for her and get back to Susan and his daughter Bharati.

Pramod held his head low and I felt that he was feeling guilty. I told him to go home and mend the strained relations with Susan. He thanked me and drove his car from the parking area.

I called Susan and told her about me meeting Ipsita. I explained the wonderful personality of Ipsita and told her that nothing was there to worry and Pramod would be back on track.

I was not comfortable to drive back home. Instead I drove to Pramod’s house and walked to the door. I wanted to ring the bell but did not do so. I could see from the window Susan standing and talking in a very animated way. I saw Pramod  on his knees pleading her. This went on for about five minutes. Later I could see smile on Susan’s face. I realized that they had patched up and there was no need for me to go into their house and meet them. I drove back.

After about one week I was with Pramod in the pub. We were having beer and Pramod said “Thank you friend for helping me as usual. If I look back I find it silly. I cannot justify my crush on Ipsita. Now I am back with family. I have avoided Ipsita as I do not want to disturb her and I want peace of mind”

I was pleased. Pramod got up and walked towards the washroom. There was a message alert on his mobile.

I took his mobile and looked at it. There was a Whats App message.

It was from Ipsita. I went through the messages. I saw that Pramod had wished her and chatted with her about many topics. He had assured me and Susan that he would not be in touch with Ipsita.

At this juncture I realized that “Men will be men always ready to flirt”

Part 1: They loved, got married & lived happily everafter, until…

Ranjan continued “Did Pramod convert to Christianity or Susan became a Hindu?”

I did not like his question.

Susan smiled. She walked up to Pramod.

Held his hand and replied “We are Indians first and will remain Indians till we last. Religion is strictly a personal thing for us. Other things do not matter.”

Everyone including Ranjan got up and started clapping in appreciation.

I told my friends who had gathered in the house of Sujan Chandy and Mini Mathews “Friends narrating the story of Susan and Pramod made me emotional. I know them from more than two decades since they fell in love during Engineering study days. I was with them all through the journey they took in those few years in the college. They not only braved the odds but have succeeded and proved to the world that if partners are in love with one another, nothing else can come in between”.

We had dinner and after exchanging pleasantries, went back to our houses.

Couple of weeks passed and I was sitting in my office busy looking at the graph of sales which was not looking northwards. I started analyzing the sales numbers and figuring out how the same could be improved.

 I got a call on my mobile. I looked at it. It was from Susan. I answered “Hi Susan how are you?”

She replied “I am doing fine.  Want to talk to you about some pressing issues. Can we meet in the evening today?”

I was surprised. Of late I had become a part time Agony Uncle giving a patient hearing to the problems of my friends and trying to give solutions. I had not expected Susan to come out with any issues to me. They were the ideal pair and I had not seen any love succeed the way their story had succeeded.   

I reached the coffee cafe by 6 PM and saw Susan waiting for me inside. I wished her and took my seat opposite her. I looked at her. She looked the same beautiful Susan we all had admired during our engineering days. We ordered coffee and I told her “Few weeks ago I was in this same cafe but the person with me was Chandana. She had some small issues with Nandan and they both made me solve their problems”.

Susan smiled and said “This time it is my turn”.

She continued “You were very generous in praising us the other day during the get together at Mini’s house. You have been with me and Pramod in the journey since the day we fell in love. I should be honest and speak the truth to you”.

I kept the coffee mug down and with lot of nervousness asked her “Why are you talking of honesty and speaking the truth? Hope everything is fine between two of you”.

“Not as it should be”

“I am surprised. Do not tell me that you both have differences. I have always taken your example and explained to people about love and successful marriage”

She could not take more. She started sobbing. I felt embarrassed. I kept my hand on her shoulder and asked her to calm down.

She continued “I feel very guilty to face you. You are one of the important people who helped us in life”

I told “Do not think about me. Tell me what has gone wrong?”

“Pramod had changed over a period of time”

“What sort of changes?”

“Many are there. You know that I have unconditional love towards him. Since the time he has crossed forty, I find some changes in him. He no longer yearns to be in my company. He spends more time in the office. I come back from my office by about 6 pm. He used to be back by 6 pm. Now a day he comes at around 8 pm and does not spend time with me.

He talks to Bharati for few minutes and after dinner goes to bed”.

I interrupted her “How is Bharati? She is now in which class?”

“She is doing fine. She is now in fifth standard”

I told her to continue with her explanation.

She continued “I sometimes feel that we exhausted the love for one another after few years of marriage. You know what turmoil we went through. Ours was not an ordinary marriage during those times. I am a Christian and he is from a very Orthodox Hindu family. We have faced the odds together well. I do not understand why things are changing now”.

I looked at her and said “Susan welcome to the club. You guys are in mid life crisis”.

She did not look pleased.

She continued “I do not know about any such club. You know how sincere we both were during college days. I am not saying that he does not love me but I see dilution in it”.

I added “Things are not the same as they were two decades ago. Then at least couple of girls used to look at me. Now I have grown darker and have developed a tummy. So is the case with Pramod. He has put on weight and maybe he gets tired very fast and goes to sleep early”

She continued “Remember four years ago when you were at our house with your wife on Valentine’s Day?”

“How can I forget that day? You and Mini prepared very tasty Mangalore dishes and we had wine, danced and dined”

“It was the last memorable Valentine’s Day we celebrated. He has become busy with his work. I also work and I do not appear busy at least for the family”.

I was not comfortable with the details she was giving. I started feeling let down. The love story of Susan and Pramod was very close to my heart and many times I felt that I should have fallen in love with some girl during my engineering studies. Destiny had some other scheme for me and mine was an arranged marriage.

I looked at her and said “Susan please do not get irritated or let down. Pramod is a very nice guy and we both know it well. This is typical of mid life and you both are facing the crisis. Let me talk it over with him”.

She said “We are very lucky to have a good friend like you. You empathize with us and help us sincerely”.

I said “Susan after hearing you I feel that they are not big issues. You both can resolve them easily. You need to take out time and talk to one another. After all you both have braved the society and are together. I am confident that you can do it”.

She suddenly started sobbing and was not able to hold her tears back.

I looked at her and said “What happened? Why so much emotion? I think there is something else in the story. You are not telling me the full story”.

She took couple of minutes to get back to normalcy. She looked at me. I could see lot of pain in her eyes. I could not hold back. Tears rolled from my eyes. I said “Susan this is last thing I want. I cannot see tears in your eyes. Please tell me what is troubling you so much”.

“Oh My God and  I had to hear this” was my reaction to what she said next.

She told me “ I really do not care about all the things which I have told you today. What makes me nervous and restless is his liking for her”

To be continued…

Indian marriages - arranged or love ?

I came out of Quality hotel Globe and walked to the cab. The chauffeur wished me and getting  into the cab I told him “Kaknästornet tower”.

He started the car and drove it very fast. I was not so comfortable with his speed and said “So fast?”

He looked back at me and said “No issues. This is normal speed here. You are an Indian?”

“Yeah”

“You know English?”

 I said “I had my education in English”.

He smiled and said “Very nice to know that you people know European language so well”.

I replied “I am surprised to find lot of people speaking very good English here in Stockholm.”

Few more minutes on the road and we reached the destination. I got down from the cab and looked around.

“Hi” Benedikta wished.

I reciprocated. We took the lift and went to the floor where the restaurant was located. On entering we were greeted by our friends who were already seated on the chairs around the tables. It was the first day of the sales meet of European countries and three of us from India were invited as guests.

It was a very beautiful location and the candle lit dinner was the best thing to happen.

Within minutes everyone started talking and laughing. Wine, scotch, beer and soft drinks were served and guys were comfortable.

The French guy Adrien looked at me and asked “Shall I ask you one question?”

“Go ahead” I said.

“What is caste? Who is big and who is small? I am confused”

I looked at my Indian colleagues. All of us smiled. We knew that it would take many months for this guy to understand the concept of caste of Indian society.

I told him “It is a very simple concept but has been made very complicated. As per ancient books, people of those days were classified based on the jobs they did. As time passed by it became caste and the society today has hundreds of castes”

He continued “If a lady belonging to a higher caste marries a guy from a lower caste, will she become lower or he becomes higher?”

I replied “There is no written confirmation for this as in those days people used to marry from their own castes. It is only of late that people have opened up and the barriers of caste are being broken and inter-caste marriages are more.”

Allie looked at me and asked “I heard that in India you have more arranged marriages than love marriages”

“Yes” I replied.

She continued “How can one arrange a marriage? Marriage will be with a person you meet, date, like, love and then propose”

I smiled and said “Things are a little different in our society. Our society is very heterogeneous and has people belonging to hundreds of castes, languages and regions. India is a sub continent. In case of Sweden the population is homogeneous and the culture of all the people is more or less the same.

Indian society is typical and each community has its own traditions and rituals. They are comfortable with people of their own clan.

This is the reason why people have traditionally opted for arranged marriages”

Adrien interrupted “I do not understand all this. What has tradition and rituals got to do with lives of individuals who want to get married”

I continued “In India  marriage is not between two individuals alone. It is the coming together of two families. The story does not end with the girl and the boy liking each other. The parents and the family members also play a role.”

Allie smiled and said “Though the logic appears Greek and Latin to me, I respect the thought process of the people. After all about one billion people subscribe to this method of getting married. There should be something magical in it”

“ I agree” I said and continued “ In many cases the boy and the girl get married and then fall in love with one another and spend rest of their lives blissfully together. Take my case. Mine is an arranged marriage.”

Samba Shivappa intervened and said “Sometimes arranged marriage is a pain. Take the case of my eldest sister. My Brother-In-Law is a nut and he has not spent even a day happily with her. They got married about twenty five years ago and he belongs to our community and from the same town. She has been tolerating him is silence and many times has come to our house crying. I feel helpless looking at her”

“Oh yeah, I have heard about such cases” said Bernadhina. She had told me that she visited south India with a group of NGOs.

“I have met ladies who have silently tolerated the misadventures of the men folk. I swear I could not digest that. In Sweden we have women who consider themselves either superior or equal to men” she said.

I added “One thing about Indians is that we are very tolerant and accommodating. We consider marriage not as an agreement but as an institution. We revere the concept and try to stick to one another by giving a very long rope to the partner.

The best thing to happen would be choosing a partner and getting married. This would reduce the burden on the parents.

But many times boys and girls fall in love during their college days. They project their better sides to their partners and build castles in air. Once they get married, reality stares and they start blaming one another. It appears as if they exhaust love for each other before marriage itself.

To sum up, in India love or arranged marriages are successful depending upon the understanding between the partners. “

Allie remarked “That is very true. Though we have a very forward looking society in our country, there are many marital issues. The logic is universal. A marriage stays longer only if there is proper coordination, trust and understanding between the partners. India surely shows the way for the rest of the world as it is one of the few places where the partners have options either to fall in love and marry or allow elders to arrange a marriage”.

At this stage Mr. Patel, the sales director of US operations commented “I left India in the early seventies and have settled down in the US since then. I have the advantage of knowing the cultures of India, US, Europe and the Far East. Indians and people of Indian origin are generally tolerant in nature. The offshoot of this mentality is the arranged marriage institution. They have good trust in their parents and siblings. Family matters a lot to them.

 That is the reason why many arranged or love marriages last a life time amongst them. This is not to take away the credit from others. I see many American and European marriages also lasting a life time.”

There was a long pause and silence for couple of minutes. Benedikta looked at me and said in a lighter vein “Hey you have hijacked the evening. I would like to get married. Will you please help me in an arranged marriage? But the condition is that he should be a Swede and from Stockholm.”

Everyone around laughed and I commented “Not possible for me. Not in this lifetime”