HAPPINESS IS IN THE JOURNEY AND NOT AT THE DESTINATION

“Please do not disturb me. I am on a call” Rohit told.

Amulya had come to talk to Rohit but after hearing what Rohit said , she went back. She was upset. She looked at the clock on the wall. It was 10.30 PM. Rohit was busy discussing about the project with his US client. Little pranav came running and sat on Rohit's lap. Rohit looked at Amulya and gestured her to take him away.

She lifted Pranav from Rohit’s lap. Pranav started crying. She pulled him out of the bedroom and pushed him on to the sofa set in the front hall and said “How many times I have told you to keep quiet when your papa is on call”.

“But mama I am going to sleep in few minutes time and I wanted to tell him about the prize I got in English Elocution” Pranav said.

Amulya felt very bad. She realized that her son had won a prize and he wanted to share few happy moments with his father and he could not. She walked up to Pranav and kissed him on the forehead and said “My cute boy. Papa loves you very much and he is working overtime to see that we all are happy”.

“I do not understand. You say he works overtime for us to be happy but are we happy?” Pranav sobbed.

She sat on the sofa and made Pranav sleep on her lap. In about five minutes time Pranav fell asleep. She lifted Pranav and gently placed him on the bed in the bedroom.  She looked at Rohit. He was fully involved in his discussions. After about half an hour, Rohit finished his call and closed his laptop.

He looked at Amulya. She was asleep with her hand on Pranav. He smiled and gently shook her. She got up and went to the kitchen and came out with his food.

Rohit asked Amulya “Why did Pranav sit on my lap?”

She replied “He won a prize in the school and wanted to tell you. But you were very busy with your call”

Rohit said “What to do it was important.”

“Why do you always work late in the house? You finish off your work at office and spend some time with us at home”

“Why do you think I do all this? I do it for you and Pranav. If I work hard I will earn more and you both will be happier”

“Are we happy now?” she questioned.

Rohit was taken aback. He replied “Why are we not happy? I am earning very well and I have given you full freedom to use the money. Show me one person among your relatives who is earning as much as I do. We have a very big house”.

Amulya was not amused. She said “Why do you compare? We do not know the journey each one of them is taking. For that matter look at the journey we are taking. Not really worth it”.

Rohit continued “Look Amulya be happy for all that I am giving you. I am earning so that we can have lot of money with us and Pranav can have a good future. Do not look at small day to day issues. Look at the bigger picture. Look at the destination. Ultimately people recognize your achievement”.

The discussion went on for another half an hour and each of them were sticking to their respective positions.

That night Rohit did not sleep properly. Something was troubling him. He had tried to explain Amulya that he was doing all the hard work to achieve milestones in life and he was making provision for milestone expenses. She was interested in him spending more time at home and appreciating Pranav for winning the prize.

Next day at around 2 PM Rohit was sitting in the restaurant. He looked at his watch and anxiously looked at the door. I rushed in and said “Sorry friend. Am late by about 15 minutes”

“No issues” he said and ordered the food.

“Tell me what I can do for you” I said.

Rohit explained what had happened the previous night and said “I strongly believe in the end result and am of the opinion that happiness will come only after we achieve our goal”.

I looked at him and said “Rohit you are right in your place but not to the fullest extent. Remember when we were in final year engineering we used to dream of good job. Both of us got good jobs. We were not happy.

 Then we started feeling that we would be happy once we own a house . Both of us have it. Are we happy?

 You told me that you would be very happy on becoming a father. Pranav is there with you  and  you are still not happy”.

 

“Sounds very logical please continue” he said.

I continued “what does the pattern say? We should not look for happiness at a destination. Instead we should consider happiness as part of the journey and enjoy every small and big event that we come across”.

Rohit smiled and said “I got your point. This is what Amulya has been telling me”.

I said “Today while going to your house take some flowers for Amulya”.

“I will buy a huge bouquet” he said with pride.

“Look you are doing the same mistake again. You take only one rose and give it to Amulya” I replied.

After thanking me, Rohit went to his house.

It was about 6 PM and Amulya opened the door.

Rohit smiled at her and gave the rose saying “To the prettiest woman in the world”.

Amulya was surprised and loved the gesture. She laughed heartily and said “What a change my dear hubby”.

They went inside the house. Pranav was sitting on the sofa. Rohit said “Hey young man, come and kiss your papa”.

Pranav came running and jumped on his father. Rohit took out one big milky bar chocolate and gave it to Pranav. The kid was very happy and kissed his father and thanked him.

Amulya asked Rohit if he wanted any special dish to be prepared for the night.

Rohit said “Today the queen of the house will not be doing any work. We are going out to a five star hotel and having a candle lit dinner”.

Amulya had tears in her eyes. She could not believe the change in her husband. She hugged him tightly. Pranav hugged both of them.

The other wise stone faced Rohit could not hold back. His eyes became moist. He realized that in pursuit of bigger things he had neglected smaller joys and that he should live everyday with joy and not postpone it to the next day.

He looked at Amulya and said “It is not important to know how many days we have lived but it is important to understand how much lively each day of ours should be. Happiness is in the journey and not at the destination”.

THE TWEETNAGERS

Ranjan looked at the clock in his house. It was 4 PM. He was going to the birthday party of Sujit, son of his friend Sameer. He looked at the room in the first floor. The door was closed. Ragini was getting ready. It was more than 20 minutes since she was in the room getting ready for the party.

Ranjan was becoming restless. He took his smart phone and sent a message to her on Whats-app “How many more minutes?”

Reply came back “Five more”

“Ten men can get ready by the time a lady gets ready”

“What is there for a man to get ready? Short hair and no good dressing sense”

The exchange of message went on for few more minutes.

At last the door of the first floor room opened and Ragini came out dressed in a pink saree. She looked very beautiful in her attire. Immediately Ranjan sent one more message “Looking beautiful, my lady”

Ragini laughed and said “Enough of it. Let us speak to one another when we are in the same room”

Immediately Ranjan came closer to her and took a selfie on his mobile and posted on Facebook with the comments “The Deshpande's are ready to go to the party and are rocking”

Ranjan started his car and waited for Ragini to lock the door of the house and step in. A cluster of alerts came on his mobile. About 25 likes and some 12 comments came. Ranjan looked very pleased and showed the same to Ragini as she entered the car and sat next to him.

Ranjan said “Look Ragini this  message is good. Samvit says Deshpandes are made for each other and the photo is to be framed”

Ragini smiled and said “Hey look at this message from Savitha. She says she is jealous of me”

Ranjan laughed and said “Obviously, she would have said looking at me”

They were delighted looking at the messages and Ranjan started driving the car.

Sameer had invited his close friends on the eve of the 10th birthday of his son Sujit. The couple drove for another half an hour and arrived at Sameer’s house. Sameer came out of his house and with a warm hug welcomed Ranjan. Sameer’s wife smiled and escorted Ragini.

I arrived about 10 minutes later. I was greeted by Sameer and after some exchange of pleasantries, I settled down on a chair comfortably.

I looked around. About 12-15 people were sitting. I could see the kids were busy in the adjoining room. I was not surprised to see that not many were talking to one another. They were busy with their smart phones. Ranjan and Ragini were sitting next to one another. They were busy texting messages on their phones.

I got up from the seat and went to the room where the kids were playing. The kids were not playing in the true sense. Two boys were busy playing tennis on Wii, three girls were glued to the computer monitor watching Taylor Swift song on you tube. The rest of the kids were looking at the tablet Sujit was having. He was playing a video game in it.

I was not happy the way the party was going on. Sameer entered the room. He saw me and could understand my feelings. He came closer and patted my back and said “come, let us start the party”.

The kids came out and Sameer announced “Friends I am very happy today. My boy Sujit is completing 10 years today. He is becoming a Tweenager. We all have gone through the process. The tween-age phase is very typical since they have the traits of a kid as well as that of a teenager. We as parents have extra responsibility to guide the boy in this confusing phase of his life.”

Sameer completed his small speech. I looked around. Almost half of the guys were busy with their smart phones. Sameer looked at me and said “This is the reality brother. Things have changed.”

I could not take it anymore.

I started off “Friends please lend me your ears. We are very happy that we are meeting here today to celebrate the birthday of Sujit. I have a complaint. Sameer could have created a page on Facebook instead of calling us here. We could have sent him wishes over the social media page.

But that is not life worth living. Unknowingly our lives have been bulldozed by social media and all of us are busy with Facebook, Whats-App, twitter and other virtual tools. There is no true connect as we are always connected virtually.

Sujit has become a Tweenager but we all have become Tweetnagers. Always active on the social media.

Gone are those days when we used to ignore each other by books. These days we are doing the same by smart phones.

Remember the days when we used to get annoyed if any one looked into our dairy? These days the activities are posted on social media and we get annoyed if no one notices it.”

I looked around. There was silence in the room. Everyone looked convinced. Ranjan got up and asked Sameer to switch off the WiFi. He turned towards the gathering and said “Let us switch off our cell phones for the next two hours and celebrate the birthday of the new Tweenager.”

The crowd erupted in joy and the kids started running all around in the house. The women started gossiping and Sameer happily opened the scotch bottle and started pouring in the glasses and shouted “let the festivities begin.”  

BEING TOGETHER, PART II - AGONY UNCLE

  

Tea was served on my desk in the office. It was late afternoon of a typical Friday. I stretched my legs and felt happy that next two days would be relaxing as I had no plans of moving out of the house. I had some domestic work lined up. I started working on my weekly sales figures and projections for the next week.

I got a text message on my mobile. I looked at it and the message was “Free in next one hour? – Chandana”.

I send the reply “Can make time for you”

“Come to the coffee shop near the multiplex by 5 pm. Will be waiting for you”

Chandana Rao and her husband Nandan Rao are our family friends. They are a very well to do family and recently we had attended their house warming ceremony.

I went through my sales analysis fast and packed up and left the office by 4.30 PM. I reached the coffee shop and saw Chandana waiting for me outside.

“Hi” she said and walked into the coffee shop. I followed her.

We sat in a corner where no people were around.

I could notice that she was upset. The usual smiling Chandana looked tensed up.

“Relax and tell me what is bothering you” I said.

She immediately replied “It is him again”

“What did my friend Nandan do this time” I asked.

“Sir, what shall I serve you?” the steward interrupted politely.

“Two coffee please” I said looking at him.

He smiled and went away.

“Continue” I said.

“How was the party we arranged in our house couple of days ago?” she asked.

They had organized an excellent party couple of days ago. Nandan with his flamboyant style and impeccable dressing sense and Chandana with her warm smile and care made the party unforgettable.

“Your party was excellent as usual. You new house is huge and very beautifully done unlike my house which is smaller” I said.

She replied “Please do not compare as comparison steals joy.

 Everyone says the party was good. But he would never admit. He finds fault with me”.

I was confused. What was I supposed to do when they both had a problem of not appreciating one another? She had called me since she had faith that I would resolve the issue.

Reluctantly I jumped into the discussion and said

“I did not get you. Did he get annoyed?”

She replied “You know that our house is pretty big and on that day one of the servant maids did not come and I had to do lot of physical work also. I was telling the people to move the chairs to the proper locations. I had to arrange for extra chairs in one room and he wanted it somewhere else and the issue of placing the extra wall hangings, etc”

I drew a blank face and wondered what value I could add in resolving.

 I told her “continue”

She said “Over the years I do not care anymore whatsoever. But what irritated me were the comments he made”.

I said “What comments? I was there in the party until the end”

She continued “You were not there when he made the comments. The Sharma couple from New Delhi had come. You know that they are a bit show off type and I am not comfortable with them.

We were talking to them and Sudeep came running to me and started crying. Sometimes Nandan loses his sense of location and he started ordering me in a louder tone to handle Sudeep and console him. He told me that he was with the Sharmas and I should take care of the kid.

Tell me how I would have felt at that time. Mrs. Sharma was immediate in telling that her son would not have cried like that in a party.

I felt very bad and the next day I told Nandan about it. He did not care and walked away to office”

There was silence for couple of minutes. The coffee was served on the table. I started sipping it. I broke the silence and said “Come on do not take things so seriously. We all know Nandan very well. He is a top guy in his company and he is known to be a task master. He likes you very much and you should let this incident go”.

She gave me a nasty stare and said “Did I do a mistake by telling you all this?”

“No you did not. In fact I want to help you guys to come out of it” I said.

She continued “I am not a child and I know this may appear like a silly incident to others. But I know what I have gone through. A lady who takes pain in organizing such a party cannot be brushed aside like that. It is hitting my ego very hard. Today morning he got ready and went to office as if nothing had happened”

She started sobbing. I could see some tears in her eyes. I found it very difficult to say anything. Handling a woman was the most difficult thing in the world. She was my friend’s wife too.

“Let us call him here and talk it over” I said.

She looked up and there was a huge smile on her face and she said “It took you so long to take this decision. Call him now”

I called Nandan on his mobile and said “Hi dude will you come to the coffee shop near the multiplex? I am waiting for you”

His office was about 200 meters away from the coffee shop. He replied “ I will be there in next 15 minutes”.

15 minutes later he arrived and walked in. I waved and he saw me. He sat on the chair and commented “So Madam is also here. Tell me what the complaint is?”

“Look this is his style and he is so predictable” She chipped in immediately.

“Hey guys cool down” I said.

I explained how Chandana felt about the comments he had made during the party.

Nandan looked surprised and said “I never said anything harsh to her and of late I take good care to be polite and nice to her”

“You will never remember. You make such comments and then forget” she replied.

I  looked at Nandan and said “Friend, I am sorry to talk about your personal issues. We are close friends and there should be no issue in sharing disputes with one another. That is the reason why Chandana called me over.

I know that you take care of your family very well and you earn very handsomely. But sometimes we men should look at family and life beyond financial stability and assurances we give them.

We forget to understand that we are rich if we have more things with us which money cannot buy.

It may appear silly to you but it has affected Chandana so much that she is still talking about the incident”.

Nandan was looking at the mobile kept on his lap. He was busy sending some text message.

“Nandan did you hear me” I said.

He looked up. I could see that he was feeling bad about the incident.

He said “I did not mean anything to hurt her”.

He turned to Chandana and said “I love you the way I loved you before”.

Her face blossomed and I could understand that they got connected again.

Nandan looked at me and said “Thank you for being a good friend. You can leave now. I do not want you to disturb our romance”

I realised that it was time to go out. I looked at Chandana. She said “I second his comments”.

I was happy that the ending was good. I said bye and started walking away.

Chandana held me hand and with a feeling of gratitude said “Thank you for being my Agony Uncle”.

I smiled and walked out. I could see from the window that they both were laughing and having their coffee.

I was walking towards the parking area to take my car out. I saw an old couple on the other side of the road. They were in their late seventies. The old lady was walking and the old man had kept his hand on her shoulder and was having a walking stick in the other hand.

 I felt “The love between partners should always remain intact as long as they live together”

Being together

I was standing at the entrance of the yoga hall dressed  in white traditional Indian attire. I looked at the watch it was about 4.30 PM and it was time for her to arrive. We were two volunteers in the advanced meditation course being conducted by Guruji and we had to welcome all the participants and show them their respective positions in the hall.

I got a text message. I looked at the mobile and the message was “sorry am late by one minute – CR”

I was surprised and looked around. I saw her standing with a big smile on her face. She was dressed in full white. I smiled back and started handing over the papers with the details of the participants.

I looked at her and said “wow, you look as splendid as ever”.

“Thank you handsome” she replied.

Chandana Rao had taken the meditation course along with me couple of months ago and we were volunteers for the next batch. It was the last day and Guruji had told us that he would talk about togetherness. This particular course was for couples and the idea was to help them lead a blissful life in each others company.

Three hours earlier -

“Rajesh please come out of the washroom faster. We need to do some shopping before going to the meditation classes” Sanjana shouted.

“Give me 5 more minutes and I will be coming out” Rajesh replied.

“You always go in either with a book or your mobile and spend 15 to 20 minutes there” she said.

There was an alert on Rajesh’s mobile. Sanjana picked up the mobile and read the message. It was a message on Whats app. It was from Sangeeta. Sangeeta was Rajesh’s friend living in Australia. Sanjana scrolled down the messages and could see that they both were chatting regularly on a daily basis. Her face became red with anger.

Rajesh came out of the washroom and said “Honey I am back. I took only 10 minutes this time”.

Sanjana was furious and said “Sangeeta again? You chat with her so much. What is there to discuss daily?”

Rajesh was surprised and remarked “Hey do not be jealous. You know very well that Sangeeta is my classmate and we know each other well since more than a decade. You can go through the messages and you will know that there is nothing doubtful between us”.

Next ten minutes was full decibel fight between the two.

Sanjana started crying and said “I am a fool to believe you completely. You have good friends outside and keep chatting with them regularly”

Rajesh was also furious and he said “Do not start it all over again. Who has stopped you from chatting with others? You can also chat with your friends .I have no objection”

Sanjana said “Look at yourself in the mirror. You do not have any empathy towards me. I will never chat with any other male. I do not blame Sangeeta. She is doing it out of true friendship. I am doubtful about you. Your intent is not ok”.

The fight continued for another 10 minutes. Later they started getting ready for the meditation class scheduled in the evening.

5.40 PM Meditation hall -

Rajesh and Sanjana walked into the hall. I could observe that they were upset with one another. I looked at Chandana.

 She came closer to me and whispered “Looks like the young couple had a fight”

I nodded and said “Let me talk to them”.

I went to Rajesh and asked him about the issue. Rajesh explained everything. Sanjana was staring at me. I smiled at her and nodded indicating that everything would be alright.

By 6 PM the Guruji entered the hall and sat on the high pedestal and closed his eyes. The volunteer who was sitting in the front started the chanting. All the participants closed their eyes and with a pleasant smile on their faces started following the instructions in the guided meditation that followed.

I was standing outside the hall. Chandana came to me and said “It has been a wonderful session and all the participants have been enjoying and feeling blessed”.

I smiled back and said “Meditation builds the person stronger from inside”.

After few minutes we entered the hall and the Guruji was speaking.

He said “Have you ever wondered why we whisper or shout? Tell me when do we whisper or talk in a lower tone?”

Few of the participants gave answers. I was observing Rajesh and Sanjana. They were sitting next to one another but were not looking at each other.

The Guruji continued “When we are in love the distance between the hearts becomes less. We speak to one another in a sweet and lower tone. The love may be between spouses, siblings or friends.

The physical distance does not matter. The two will keep talking to each other sweetly and show a huge amount of understanding and care toward one another.

When we fight or we are in hatred we shout. Have you not seen people fighting? They will be standing next to each other but still they will be shouting and in many cases the surrounding people will be hearing their fight. In such cases the distance between the hearts will be so much that they will have to shout to be heard”.

I looked at Rajesh. For the first time in the evening Rajesh and Sanjana looked at each other. I could see guilt in their eyes.

The Guruji continued “Now I would like to demonstrate the power of togetherness and I need two volunteers for this. Rajesh and Sanjana please come on to the stage”

They both went to the stage. Two chairs were on the stage and they sat facing one another. The Guruji asked them to get closer and hold their hands together.

He continued “Now both of you look into each others eyes and start remembering the events that happened in your life recently”.

I looked at Chandana and gestured her to come near me. I bent closer to her ears and said “Now let us see. Who will blink first?”

“Sanjana of course. She is a woman” she said.

I continued “Knowing Rajesh very well it is going to be the other way round. Anyway let us wait and watch”.

The Guruji continued “Both of you remember one event that happened in the recent past which was uncomfortable and try to figure out why it happened. It was whose mistake? Was it a mistake at all?”

Sanjana and Rajesh continued holding their hands together and looking into each other’s eyes. Their eyes started becoming moist. Maybe they were recollecting the fight they had in the afternoon. It continued for next 5 minutes and the Guruji kept telling them how important it was to be together though many differences could arise.

Suddenly Rajesh broke down. He started crying like a child. He held Sanjana’s hands very tightly and said “Please forgive me. I have been very unfair to you. I could have explained to you today about my friends and could have pacified you properly when you were upset. Instead my ego came in between and I spoke nastily to you”.

Sanjana too started crying and held his hands tightly.

I looked around. I could understand the mood that was created. Many of the men and women in the crowd had tears in their eyes. They were getting connected to the couple. It was silence all around. After another 5 minutes of silence, the Guruji started speaking. He said “We know that Rajesh and Sanjana love each other. They always speak to one another with love. Sometimes due to external pressures and circumstances the hearts move away and partners start shouting and become angry. Ultimately true love prevails”.

The session ended and one by one the participants started moving out. I was standing in the entrance wishing them as they went out. Chandana came near me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said “I saw your eyes were moist during the event. Even I could not hold myself back. Go home and have dinner with your wife and kids. Love them more that ever”.

 I smiled back. Shook hands with her and started walking to my car.

 I saw Rajesh and Sanjana walking hand in hand to their car. I felt happy, smiled and got into my car.