BEING TOGETHER, PART II - AGONY UNCLE

  

Tea was served on my desk in the office. It was late afternoon of a typical Friday. I stretched my legs and felt happy that next two days would be relaxing as I had no plans of moving out of the house. I had some domestic work lined up. I started working on my weekly sales figures and projections for the next week.

I got a text message on my mobile. I looked at it and the message was “Free in next one hour? – Chandana”.

I send the reply “Can make time for you”

“Come to the coffee shop near the multiplex by 5 pm. Will be waiting for you”

Chandana Rao and her husband Nandan Rao are our family friends. They are a very well to do family and recently we had attended their house warming ceremony.

I went through my sales analysis fast and packed up and left the office by 4.30 PM. I reached the coffee shop and saw Chandana waiting for me outside.

“Hi” she said and walked into the coffee shop. I followed her.

We sat in a corner where no people were around.

I could notice that she was upset. The usual smiling Chandana looked tensed up.

“Relax and tell me what is bothering you” I said.

She immediately replied “It is him again”

“What did my friend Nandan do this time” I asked.

“Sir, what shall I serve you?” the steward interrupted politely.

“Two coffee please” I said looking at him.

He smiled and went away.

“Continue” I said.

“How was the party we arranged in our house couple of days ago?” she asked.

They had organized an excellent party couple of days ago. Nandan with his flamboyant style and impeccable dressing sense and Chandana with her warm smile and care made the party unforgettable.

“Your party was excellent as usual. You new house is huge and very beautifully done unlike my house which is smaller” I said.

She replied “Please do not compare as comparison steals joy.

 Everyone says the party was good. But he would never admit. He finds fault with me”.

I was confused. What was I supposed to do when they both had a problem of not appreciating one another? She had called me since she had faith that I would resolve the issue.

Reluctantly I jumped into the discussion and said

“I did not get you. Did he get annoyed?”

She replied “You know that our house is pretty big and on that day one of the servant maids did not come and I had to do lot of physical work also. I was telling the people to move the chairs to the proper locations. I had to arrange for extra chairs in one room and he wanted it somewhere else and the issue of placing the extra wall hangings, etc”

I drew a blank face and wondered what value I could add in resolving.

 I told her “continue”

She said “Over the years I do not care anymore whatsoever. But what irritated me were the comments he made”.

I said “What comments? I was there in the party until the end”

She continued “You were not there when he made the comments. The Sharma couple from New Delhi had come. You know that they are a bit show off type and I am not comfortable with them.

We were talking to them and Sudeep came running to me and started crying. Sometimes Nandan loses his sense of location and he started ordering me in a louder tone to handle Sudeep and console him. He told me that he was with the Sharmas and I should take care of the kid.

Tell me how I would have felt at that time. Mrs. Sharma was immediate in telling that her son would not have cried like that in a party.

I felt very bad and the next day I told Nandan about it. He did not care and walked away to office”

There was silence for couple of minutes. The coffee was served on the table. I started sipping it. I broke the silence and said “Come on do not take things so seriously. We all know Nandan very well. He is a top guy in his company and he is known to be a task master. He likes you very much and you should let this incident go”.

She gave me a nasty stare and said “Did I do a mistake by telling you all this?”

“No you did not. In fact I want to help you guys to come out of it” I said.

She continued “I am not a child and I know this may appear like a silly incident to others. But I know what I have gone through. A lady who takes pain in organizing such a party cannot be brushed aside like that. It is hitting my ego very hard. Today morning he got ready and went to office as if nothing had happened”

She started sobbing. I could see some tears in her eyes. I found it very difficult to say anything. Handling a woman was the most difficult thing in the world. She was my friend’s wife too.

“Let us call him here and talk it over” I said.

She looked up and there was a huge smile on her face and she said “It took you so long to take this decision. Call him now”

I called Nandan on his mobile and said “Hi dude will you come to the coffee shop near the multiplex? I am waiting for you”

His office was about 200 meters away from the coffee shop. He replied “ I will be there in next 15 minutes”.

15 minutes later he arrived and walked in. I waved and he saw me. He sat on the chair and commented “So Madam is also here. Tell me what the complaint is?”

“Look this is his style and he is so predictable” She chipped in immediately.

“Hey guys cool down” I said.

I explained how Chandana felt about the comments he had made during the party.

Nandan looked surprised and said “I never said anything harsh to her and of late I take good care to be polite and nice to her”

“You will never remember. You make such comments and then forget” she replied.

I  looked at Nandan and said “Friend, I am sorry to talk about your personal issues. We are close friends and there should be no issue in sharing disputes with one another. That is the reason why Chandana called me over.

I know that you take care of your family very well and you earn very handsomely. But sometimes we men should look at family and life beyond financial stability and assurances we give them.

We forget to understand that we are rich if we have more things with us which money cannot buy.

It may appear silly to you but it has affected Chandana so much that she is still talking about the incident”.

Nandan was looking at the mobile kept on his lap. He was busy sending some text message.

“Nandan did you hear me” I said.

He looked up. I could see that he was feeling bad about the incident.

He said “I did not mean anything to hurt her”.

He turned to Chandana and said “I love you the way I loved you before”.

Her face blossomed and I could understand that they got connected again.

Nandan looked at me and said “Thank you for being a good friend. You can leave now. I do not want you to disturb our romance”

I realised that it was time to go out. I looked at Chandana. She said “I second his comments”.

I was happy that the ending was good. I said bye and started walking away.

Chandana held me hand and with a feeling of gratitude said “Thank you for being my Agony Uncle”.

I smiled and walked out. I could see from the window that they both were laughing and having their coffee.

I was walking towards the parking area to take my car out. I saw an old couple on the other side of the road. They were in their late seventies. The old lady was walking and the old man had kept his hand on her shoulder and was having a walking stick in the other hand.

 I felt “The love between partners should always remain intact as long as they live together”

Being together

I was standing at the entrance of the yoga hall dressed  in white traditional Indian attire. I looked at the watch it was about 4.30 PM and it was time for her to arrive. We were two volunteers in the advanced meditation course being conducted by Guruji and we had to welcome all the participants and show them their respective positions in the hall.

I got a text message. I looked at the mobile and the message was “sorry am late by one minute – CR”

I was surprised and looked around. I saw her standing with a big smile on her face. She was dressed in full white. I smiled back and started handing over the papers with the details of the participants.

I looked at her and said “wow, you look as splendid as ever”.

“Thank you handsome” she replied.

Chandana Rao had taken the meditation course along with me couple of months ago and we were volunteers for the next batch. It was the last day and Guruji had told us that he would talk about togetherness. This particular course was for couples and the idea was to help them lead a blissful life in each others company.

Three hours earlier -

“Rajesh please come out of the washroom faster. We need to do some shopping before going to the meditation classes” Sanjana shouted.

“Give me 5 more minutes and I will be coming out” Rajesh replied.

“You always go in either with a book or your mobile and spend 15 to 20 minutes there” she said.

There was an alert on Rajesh’s mobile. Sanjana picked up the mobile and read the message. It was a message on Whats app. It was from Sangeeta. Sangeeta was Rajesh’s friend living in Australia. Sanjana scrolled down the messages and could see that they both were chatting regularly on a daily basis. Her face became red with anger.

Rajesh came out of the washroom and said “Honey I am back. I took only 10 minutes this time”.

Sanjana was furious and said “Sangeeta again? You chat with her so much. What is there to discuss daily?”

Rajesh was surprised and remarked “Hey do not be jealous. You know very well that Sangeeta is my classmate and we know each other well since more than a decade. You can go through the messages and you will know that there is nothing doubtful between us”.

Next ten minutes was full decibel fight between the two.

Sanjana started crying and said “I am a fool to believe you completely. You have good friends outside and keep chatting with them regularly”

Rajesh was also furious and he said “Do not start it all over again. Who has stopped you from chatting with others? You can also chat with your friends .I have no objection”

Sanjana said “Look at yourself in the mirror. You do not have any empathy towards me. I will never chat with any other male. I do not blame Sangeeta. She is doing it out of true friendship. I am doubtful about you. Your intent is not ok”.

The fight continued for another 10 minutes. Later they started getting ready for the meditation class scheduled in the evening.

5.40 PM Meditation hall -

Rajesh and Sanjana walked into the hall. I could observe that they were upset with one another. I looked at Chandana.

 She came closer to me and whispered “Looks like the young couple had a fight”

I nodded and said “Let me talk to them”.

I went to Rajesh and asked him about the issue. Rajesh explained everything. Sanjana was staring at me. I smiled at her and nodded indicating that everything would be alright.

By 6 PM the Guruji entered the hall and sat on the high pedestal and closed his eyes. The volunteer who was sitting in the front started the chanting. All the participants closed their eyes and with a pleasant smile on their faces started following the instructions in the guided meditation that followed.

I was standing outside the hall. Chandana came to me and said “It has been a wonderful session and all the participants have been enjoying and feeling blessed”.

I smiled back and said “Meditation builds the person stronger from inside”.

After few minutes we entered the hall and the Guruji was speaking.

He said “Have you ever wondered why we whisper or shout? Tell me when do we whisper or talk in a lower tone?”

Few of the participants gave answers. I was observing Rajesh and Sanjana. They were sitting next to one another but were not looking at each other.

The Guruji continued “When we are in love the distance between the hearts becomes less. We speak to one another in a sweet and lower tone. The love may be between spouses, siblings or friends.

The physical distance does not matter. The two will keep talking to each other sweetly and show a huge amount of understanding and care toward one another.

When we fight or we are in hatred we shout. Have you not seen people fighting? They will be standing next to each other but still they will be shouting and in many cases the surrounding people will be hearing their fight. In such cases the distance between the hearts will be so much that they will have to shout to be heard”.

I looked at Rajesh. For the first time in the evening Rajesh and Sanjana looked at each other. I could see guilt in their eyes.

The Guruji continued “Now I would like to demonstrate the power of togetherness and I need two volunteers for this. Rajesh and Sanjana please come on to the stage”

They both went to the stage. Two chairs were on the stage and they sat facing one another. The Guruji asked them to get closer and hold their hands together.

He continued “Now both of you look into each others eyes and start remembering the events that happened in your life recently”.

I looked at Chandana and gestured her to come near me. I bent closer to her ears and said “Now let us see. Who will blink first?”

“Sanjana of course. She is a woman” she said.

I continued “Knowing Rajesh very well it is going to be the other way round. Anyway let us wait and watch”.

The Guruji continued “Both of you remember one event that happened in the recent past which was uncomfortable and try to figure out why it happened. It was whose mistake? Was it a mistake at all?”

Sanjana and Rajesh continued holding their hands together and looking into each other’s eyes. Their eyes started becoming moist. Maybe they were recollecting the fight they had in the afternoon. It continued for next 5 minutes and the Guruji kept telling them how important it was to be together though many differences could arise.

Suddenly Rajesh broke down. He started crying like a child. He held Sanjana’s hands very tightly and said “Please forgive me. I have been very unfair to you. I could have explained to you today about my friends and could have pacified you properly when you were upset. Instead my ego came in between and I spoke nastily to you”.

Sanjana too started crying and held his hands tightly.

I looked around. I could understand the mood that was created. Many of the men and women in the crowd had tears in their eyes. They were getting connected to the couple. It was silence all around. After another 5 minutes of silence, the Guruji started speaking. He said “We know that Rajesh and Sanjana love each other. They always speak to one another with love. Sometimes due to external pressures and circumstances the hearts move away and partners start shouting and become angry. Ultimately true love prevails”.

The session ended and one by one the participants started moving out. I was standing in the entrance wishing them as they went out. Chandana came near me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said “I saw your eyes were moist during the event. Even I could not hold myself back. Go home and have dinner with your wife and kids. Love them more that ever”.

 I smiled back. Shook hands with her and started walking to my car.

 I saw Rajesh and Sanjana walking hand in hand to their car. I felt happy, smiled and got into my car.

ALL ARE EQUAL BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL

The queue was very long and we were slowly but surely moving forward from compartment to compartment towards the sacred temple.

We were in the temple of Lord Balaji in Tirumala. Thousands of devotees go to the temple every day to have a glimpse of the lord.

Since it was holiday season we had planned a trip to the temple town. We were standing in the queue for about an hour. Suddenly one devotee started pushing the people and kept going ahead. I stopped him and said “sir we all are in the queue and you cannot push like this. You need to follow rules and move only when the people ahead of you move”.

He became angry and started saying “Do you think we are standing to collect Cinema tickets? You are talking of rules. I have come all the way from my place to have darshan (glimpse) of the lord. I want to go ahead and be there in the temple fast”.

I was puzzled and said “I agree that you have come from faraway place and so have we and others in the queue. You need to understand that rules are applicable to everyone. All are equal”.

 “All are equal but some are more equal. I have more devotion towards the lord and so am more equal” saying so he went ahead pushing people back.

I kept quiet as it was not the place to settle scores with him. Started moving with the people as and when they moved ahead.  After about half an hour we had the darshan and came out of the temple. It was very divine feeling looking at the ocean of devotees silently but with lot of devotion completing their turn and walking out of the temple.

We returned home after one more day in the temple town.

However one thing that was troubling me was the statement the devotee made - “All are equal but some are more equal”.

 

I started thinking and pondering over the statement.

Two words came to my mind and they were Equality and Justice. 

The first part of the statement “All are equal” indicates equality. Irrespective of the richness and  position every person is considered the same as others.This gets reflected in our democracy during elections. Every citizen will be having one vote and by the virtue of his money or education one does not get more than one vote. The fact that every vote counts empowers even the poorest of poor and the leaders come kneeing down to them.

The second part of the statement “some are more equal” may sound negative but it can be viewed from a different perspective. The statement talks of  justice. Again we need to view the meaning in a limited way as it may get misinterpreted very easily.

Every person in the society is not blessed with same amount of richness or opportunities. Talking of opportunities, in today’s context knowing English enhances the chance of getting a job. English is a basic need and is the link language in our country .We cannot imagine a single day without using English.

We still have many primary schools in rural areas of our country where English is not taught as a language and the students get exposed to English only during their high school days or college days. They will not have a command over the language and it would be a handicap.

Justice in such a case would be to empower them from the start to learn the language. It would call for extra effort on part of the authorities to promote English along with vernacular languages so that the students are equipped and are on an even platform to compete with others.

Many such thoughts kept coming to my mind and lot of conflicting issues kept prompting up.

Few months passed and I had to take a train to Bangalore and went to the railway station.

It was almost 8 months since I had taken the train to travel. On entering the railway station I was happy to find that the station looked cleaner than before. I could find  trash bins  kept at regular intervals and the platform looked hygienic.

I was surprised to see an escalator working in the platform. Went closer to it and found that the authorities had fitted the escalator so that people could easily go up the bridge and on the other side there were steps so that they could walk down.

Equality was the focus. All passengers, irrespective of age could now go up the bridge on the escalator and this would benefit the old and the weak.

Few meters away I saw a physically challenged person sitting on his wheel chair. I realized that the escalator was of no use to him. Justice was not done to him yet.

He could neither take the escalator nor walk up the steps. I was wondering how he would go to the next platform crossing the rail track. As I was pondering, one attendant came to the person. He started pushing the wheel chair to the end of the platform. At the end there was a provision to cross the rail track. He pushed the wheel chair across the rail track  to the next platform where he intended to go.

I realized that equality and justice are very relative terms. We feel that justice is done if majority of people benefit from it. There will always be few who will not be benefiting from it.

For them until proper action is taken and they are benefited , justice is delayed.

As they say “Justice delayed is justice denied”.